Life of an Introvert.
Hi, I'm Breanna and I'm an introvert.
For much of my life I didn't realize that I was introverted because I didn't really understand what it meant to be an introvert. The few times I had heard about being introverted it was always portrayed as a negative thing. I didn't get that I could love people and not want to be around them all the time so I pushed myself and tried to be extroverted. This ended up leaving me continually exhausted and feeling like something was wrong with me all the time. I would surround myself with extroverted friends because I felt like they could make up for all the times that I struggled so much - they came alive in social gatherings and so I tried to hide behind them.
Thankfully one day I was able to learn about what it actually meant to be an introvert. The more I heard about needing to recharge by myself away from people the more something inside of my brain started to click - this wasn't a bad thing at all, just the way I was - the way God created me. As I've learned more about embracing my introversion the more I've realized that it's the way lots of people are. I wasn't the only person who could go to a Christmas party or youth event and have a ton of fun but also feel an intense urge to crawl up under my blankets by myself for hours (or days).
If you type "introvert" into the search bar on Pinterest you'll be bombarded by a seemingly endless feed of posts aiming to be funny or relatable. I feel like society today has made it much more okay to be introverted and need alone time. However, I also feel that it has given people an excuse to be unforgiving, judgemental, and plain old mean. I admit that I have often blurted out the words "I hate people" when I am irritated or frustrated and instead of taking my thoughts and attitudes and surrendering them to God I blame it on my introversion. Nowhere does the Bible give me permission to hate people regardless of how tired or emotionally spent I may feel. It is in those moments that I need to cling to God for what I am lacking. However, the Bible does give me permission to be exactly the person God created me to be.
I've learned a lot about myself in the past year and one of the things I've learned is that I absolutely love being by myself. I like taking road trips by myself, going to movies, eating food, etc. I have a lot going on in my head all the time and it gets to be a lot really quickly so I need time to just be quiet, process things, and listen to God. Lots of times it's a struggle for me to remember to take time for myself but I'm getting better at it. That being said, I also really love doing things with people. I love deep conversations, random adventures, and exploring new places with people. I'm an extreme introvert who loves people which seems confusing but I'm embracing the confusion.
What about you - are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?