January 07.2020

01.07.2020

If you were to ask me a couple of days ago what the worst word I knew was, my answer would be very different than it is today. But over the last week I have discovered a word that packs a harder punch than any other I know. A word so disgusting that it makes me want to brush my teeth every time I say it.

Cancer.

I hate that it is now a part of my life. That it is the new normal. I hate that it’s something that my family has to walk through. That there will not be a single day that I don’t think about it and all that it is trying to take from me.

I hate that it is trying to take my mom away.

I know that God works for good in all things, but this doesn’t seem good at all. Nothing about this makes sense. However, I’m not commanded to understand but to trust. So I’ll keep going. I’ll keep trusting with all of the faith that my faithless heart can muster because that’s all that I can do right now.

Because that’s what my mom would do.