ONE STEP AT A TIME

“The chemo isn’t working anymore.”

Words that I have spent the last 9 months praying away - hoping that they would never come. But they came. Last Tuesday my mom’s oncologist informed us that her chemo is no longer working. The tumour in her pancreas is still approximately the same size. (It may have grown a small amount but it’s within the margin of error.) The tumours on her lungs are another story. Some of them are the same size but some have grown about 0.2cm. This news brought with it the realization that not only are the tumours in my mom’s lungs growing - there are also numerous tumours in her lungs. My heart sank.

It’s sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around my mom being sick. I watch her climb the 2.2km and 764ft to see Grassi Lakes and I forget that the cancer is fighting against her body every step of the way. I hear how she still gets 10,000 steps every day - even on days that she has to sit for 6 hours getting multiple drugs pumped through body. Drugs that are designed to kill everything. And they do kill everything - nerves, white blood cells, most of her energy, and hopefully the cancer. Through all of this she’s still here and I am so, so thankful.

So now we adjust. We try a new chemo. We take it one step at a time.

The chemo has stopped working, but I’m thankful that God hasn’t.

“Even when I don't see it, You're working. Even when I don't feel it, You're working. You never stop, You never stop working.”